Secrets

(from two separate bloposts)

Here Are Twenty Things That May Surprise You About Me Even If You Think You Know Me:

 1. I usually read between 15 and 20 books at a time. 
 2. I  have NOT read past the third Harry Potter book--go ahead, kick me.
 3. I have lost a toenail every summer for the last 6 years due to hiking extravaganza gone wild.
 4. I don't drink milk.
 5. I've only been REALLY lost once.
 6. I feel about 16 inside. The graying temples and neck thing REALLY throw me off!
 7. I have a recurring dream and wouldn't you like to know what it is????
 8. I have been in love 6 times.
 9. Once I slammed my glasses down into the bathtub because I was mad. Then I told my mom they "fell off my nose." Do you think they have internet in heaven so I can finally settle this with my mom?
 10. Once I backed our Subaru into a tree but I told my husband, "Wow, I don't know WHERE that dent came from."
 11. I have never ever cheated but as just admitted (#'s 9 and 10) I have lied.
 12. I was a chronic hitchhiker one summer in my Jackson Hole days. During one of those escapades I rode in a car for about 3 hours seated between two guys from New Mexico, and I think that it was probably marijuana that I passed back and forth to them. Naiive. Dumb. Lucky to still be alive. Fun?........
 13. After all this time I STILL can't do my hair.
 14. I've watched Anne of Green Gables probably 62 times, and I still cry when Gilbert touches Anne's hair and calls her "Carrots"
 15. A good percentage of the gifts I give originate at thrift stores, but I make sure they are impeccably imperceptible as such.
 16. I sang "You Can't Get a Man With a Gun" at the top of my lungs when I was on the riding lawn mower the other night.
 17. I really want some chickens.
 18. When I'm all alone, I waste vast vast amounts of time and then feel shabbily about it.
 19. I will walk across huge cities for a perfect macaroon.
 20. In my previous life I lived in Manhattan. I think I made jewelry down in Soho, but that part is still unclear. Now I'm working out some bad Karma in seventh grade.


I'm thinking that 60 is going to buy me some license--maybe license to dress outlandishly (or outlandishliER) or wear slippers in public. At the very least, perhaps the license to be more forthcoming with my opinions awaits me.  On the eve of my 59th year and 12th month, I bring you (drumroll...) a never before viewed or voiced list of confessions and opinions---unsolicited, unexpurgated, unedited:

 I don't like to babysit anyone I'm not related to. I watch the clock pretty much the whole time.

 I did NOT accidentally drop and shatter my glasses in the bathtub as I was cleaning it when I was 12. I threw them down in a fit of anger and rebellion.

 I am a shy introvert. Everything that you have seen or may see is a huge huge effort learned over the years. I prefer to be alone.

 That Subaru incident in Texas in 1982...I DO know how that dent happened. It was a tree. I was backing.

 I threw a rocking chair at my last missionary companion. Fortunately she had studied recreational therapy and understood and started me on some needlepoint the next day.

 I did pick up change around the house and buy copious amounts of candy which I hid when I was an adolescent.  I'm so ashamed of that, but it feels good to get it out now.

 I forgot to vote once.

 I don't like carrot pudding, but because it was a family recipe and was made out of love, I pretended to think it was fabulous.

 I attend meetings, but I do so grudgingly.

 I am never really happy unless I'm planning a trip, taking a trip, or thinking about the trip I just took.

 The odder the person/kid the more I like them.

 I got the uncontrollable giggles in the temple once.

 I think about death. A lot. It doesn't scare me. I would so like to be on the other side. If that happens to me, be calm.

 Before life kicked me around I was more funny. I'm hoping that comes back when I'm resurrected.

 My natural state is not orderly.  I like interesting piles around me. That is a war I continue to fight.

 I've done my very best teaching based on a lesson plan I thought up that day in the five minute drive to school. Flies in the face of most of what I've been taught in universities.

 I've never really told anyone the WHOLE story about some of my life's drama...and I probably won't.

 I am still keeping some dark secrets someone confided to me in the 90's. I wish I could forget.

I once had a stake president I didn't like at all. There. That's out. Didn't like his wife either.

 I don't like to hike up mountains. I like meadows or level hiking in high altitudes or circumventing lakes.

 Small yippy Mexican dogs...not even

 I once took an oath (during a bizarre little ceremony we dreamed up--candles--)with some freshman roommates that I wouldn't kiss until I got married.  I kept that for about 4 years, and I so regret it.
It made for interesting date conversation, but I should have grabbed a few more kisses! (I haven't mentioned this for 40 years!!)

 I don't like breaded fish. Why do I continue to eat it?

 Beaches don't do much for me. Sand repulses me. Swimming suits have NEVER I've always felt set apart from the rest of the world who appears beach-crazed. I like lakes, but oceans are just plain scary. Deep, dark...

 I get annoyed EVERY time the phone rings. EVERY time. That doesn't mean I don't like to talk. But when it rings...I feel anxious.

 Now I'll end with an opinion. I'm glad my religion's culture is not the same thing as the religion. Have a smashing day.